A Ghost in the Machine

Share this post

Army Realizes It Needs Straight White Guys After All

aghostinthemachine.substack.com

Army Realizes It Needs Straight White Guys After All

Secretary of the Army, Christine E Wormuth, tweets about the latest recruitment campaign, gets hilariously ratioed...

Daniel D
Mar 12
18
5
Share this post

Army Realizes It Needs Straight White Guys After All

aghostinthemachine.substack.com

The Brandon Administration seems hell-bent on blundering us into World War III with Russia and China simultaneously, and military leaders are finally starting to realize that America is woefully unprepared for battle. For the past few years, the military has focused on recruiting genderqueer marchers at Pride Parades and spiky-haired feminists who want to be equal to men in terms of career outcomes but not in terms of having to meet the same standards. Unfortunately, combat readiness is now in the toilet, so the Army has reverted to trying to get straight white men from flyover country to enlist. Whoever could have possibly seen this coming?!!!

Twitter avatar for @SecArmy
Secretary of the Army Christine E. Wormuth @SecArmy
Joining the @USArmy is a tremendous opportunity. If you are the type of person that seeks challenges and wants to push yourself to achieve something that you didn’t think was possible, we have some opportunities for you. With us, you can #BeAllYouCanBe! @usarec
Image
2:13 PM ∙ Mar 10, 2023
397Likes64Retweets

The responses are hilarious. Talk about crashing and burning like one of those $200 weather balloons President Brandon ordered shot out of the sky by Sidewinder Missiles at the bargain price of $400,000.00 (per missile, so if we count the missiles that completely missed, the price tag is even higher)! The ratio on Sec. Wormuth’s tweet speaks for itself.

Twitter avatar for @ElijahSchaffer
E @ElijahSchaffer
@SecArmy @USArmy @usarec You need straight white guys to die for you again? Where are all your lesbian POCs you’ve been pandering to the last couple years? Quotas not working out?
2:07 PM ∙ Mar 12, 2023
2,583Likes140Retweets

If only the generals and civilian leaders at the DOD were as good at winning wars as they are at getting ratioed on Twitter, America would have nothing to worry about!

Twitter avatar for @2111brainjar
Ricky Baker @2111brainjar
@SecArmy @USArmy @usarec I guess Emma with two moms didn't work out the way you planned.
Image
1:17 AM ∙ Mar 12, 2023
900Likes37Retweets

America’s Marxcissists have completed their long march through the institutions. I knew academia and Hollywood were pretty much lost causes, but I did not see the communists taking down the military as quickly and completely as they did. It was eye-opening, to put it mildly, to watch the various branches competing with each other last June to see which of them could cheerlead the loudest for Pride Month. Truly, this is not your granddaddy’s Army or Marine Corps.

Twitter avatar for @USMC
U.S. Marines @USMC
Throughout June, the USMC takes #Pride in recognizing and honoring the contributions of our LGBTQ service members. We remain committed to fostering an environment free from discrimination, and defend the values of treating all equally, with dignity and respect. #PrideMonth #USMC
Image
1:41 PM ∙ Jun 1, 2022
16,882Likes3,288Retweets

The top brass spent so much time and energy showcasing their rainbow pride, that they forgot to recruit actual combat-ready warriors. Uh oh!

Twitter avatar for @vjeannek
VK @vjeannek
@SecArmy @USArmy @usarec
Image
12:38 AM ∙ Mar 12, 2023
1,745Likes85Retweets

The leaders of the Globohomo American Empire (GAE — pronounced “Gay”) have spent the past several years blaming straight white men for everything wrong with the world. Move aside you evil colonizers and oppressors! The future is female and genderqueer and trans! If you’re a man who exclusively enjoys heterosexual sex, then you better have some extra melanin; otherwise, to the bottom of the victimology hierarchy you go!

But now the GAE military needs warm bodies to throw at the Russians (and possibly the Chinese) to make sure defense contractors get their blood money and that President Brandon gets its usual “10% for the big guy,” and — surprise, surprise! — the straight white men from flyover country aren’t interested in signing up for it! Who’da thunk it?!

Twitter avatar for @Glassofmilk420
Glass of Milk @Glassofmilk420
@SecArmy @USArmy @usarec
Image
10:03 PM ∙ Mar 11, 2023
401Likes56Retweets
Twitter avatar for @007_Anne_Kelly
🍀Babd🐦‍⬛O'Mórrígan🇮🇪 @007_Anne_Kelly
@SecArmy @USArmy @usarec
Image
10:33 PM ∙ Mar 11, 2023
1,558Likes114Retweets
Twitter avatar for @Iraqveteran8888
Iraqveteran8888 @Iraqveteran8888
"Hey, toxically masculine white trash rednecks...We were just kidding...we do need you after all because we are poking the bear and about to get pulled into WW3 and we need you to die for us now"
Twitter avatar for @SecArmy
Secretary of the Army Christine E. Wormuth @SecArmy
Joining the @USArmy is a tremendous opportunity. If you are the type of person that seeks challenges and wants to push yourself to achieve something that you didn’t think was possible, we have some opportunities for you. With us, you can #BeAllYouCanBe! @USAREC https://t.co/GiEFY7qEMa
5:43 PM ∙ Mar 11, 2023
10,235Likes1,378Retweets

Of course, the military brass could have figured this out ahead of time if they had read

John Carter
's excellent essay on Why American Can't Win World War III:

Postcards From Barsoom
Why America Can't Win World War III
I'm gonna preface this piece with the giant caveat emptor that I am not a military analyst, a geopolitical strategist, a political economist, or even much of an armchair warlord. I know a bit more than the average guy, I think, but there's a lot of specifics I don't…
Read more
10 months ago · 95 likes · 102 comments · John Carter

So maybe diversity is not actually our strength? Maybe, um, strength is our strength? But “strength” sounds toxically masculine, so let’s just keep focusing on that diversity!

Is it too late for The United States of Enron? Maybe, even at this late stage, things could be salvaged, but only if there was a real reckoning for everything the ruling class has gotten wrong these past several years, with folks at the top held to account instead of being allowed to just fail upwards. But I don’t see that happening any time soon. I hope I’m wrong, but we are witnessing what happens when you turbocharge the Peter Principle with DEI initiatives and top it all off with clownworld criminal corruption. Hopefully we can rebuild something great, using the painful lessons of the GAE leadership’s colossal failures as cautionary tales.

Share

Thanks for reading A Ghost in the Machine! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

5
Share this post

Army Realizes It Needs Straight White Guys After All

aghostinthemachine.substack.com
Previous
Next
5 Comments
William Hunter Duncan
Writes Born on the Fourth of July
Mar 13·edited Mar 13Liked by Daniel D

I'm kind of ok sending the woke to Ukraine and wherever else, to fight the Russians and Chinese. I mean, I would rather they not kill off and wound a generation of straight men, in a world war no one will win.

Expand full comment
Reply
2 replies by Daniel D and others
JJHW
Mar 12·edited Mar 12Liked by Daniel D

They haven't gotten things wrong, they have deliberately sabotaged everything, and now it is biting them on the arse, karma is a bitch and my schadenfreude levels are over 9000!

Expand full comment
Reply
3 more comments…
TopNewCommunity

No posts

Ready for more?

© 2023 Daniel D
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing