Army Realizes It Needs Straight White Guys After All

Secretary of the Army, Christine E Wormuth, tweets about the latest recruitment campaign, gets hilariously ratioed...

The Brandon Administration seems hell-bent on blundering us into World War III with Russia and China simultaneously, and military leaders are finally starting to realize that America is woefully unprepared for battle. For the past few years, the military has focused on recruiting genderqueer marchers at Pride Parades and spiky-haired feminists who want to be equal to men in terms of career outcomes but not in terms of having to meet the same standards. Unfortunately, combat readiness is now in the toilet, so the Army has reverted to trying to get straight white men from flyover country to enlist. Whoever could have possibly seen this coming?!!!

Secretary of the Army Christine E. Wormuth @SecArmy

Joining the @USArmy is a tremendous opportunity. If you are the type of person that seeks challenges and wants to push yourself to achieve something that you didn’t think was possible, we have some opportunities for you. With us, you can #BeAllYouCanBe! @usarec

The responses are hilarious. Talk about crashing and burning like one of those $200 weather balloons President Brandon ordered shot out of the sky by Sidewinder Missiles at the bargain price of $400,000.00 (per missile, so if we count the missiles that completely missed, the price tag is even higher)! The ratio on Sec. Wormuth’s tweet speaks for itself.

E @ElijahSchaffer

@SecArmy @USArmy @usarec You need straight white guys to die for you again? Where are all your lesbian POCs you’ve been pandering to the last couple years? Quotas not working out?

If only the generals and civilian leaders at the DOD were as good at winning wars as they are at getting ratioed on Twitter, America would have nothing to worry about!