Anti-Christian Christmas Movies?

What's next? Cartoons of the Prophet Muhammed in children's coloring books for Ramadan?

Anti-Christian Christmas movies, like Amazon’s Candy Cane Lane, are now a thing!

Ho ho ho, merry Christmas! ‘Tis the season for the good, the bad, and the ugly in American culture.

The good: carefree and joyful fellowship with family and friends, midnight Mass, and heartwarming holiday classics like It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.

The bad: navigating the insane traffic jams that become a constant feature of daily life, from Black Friday through the week after Christmas, everywhere that’s within five miles of any of America’s tens of thousands of large temples to the Cult of Mammon — i.e., shopping malls and big-box stores.

There’s also that dreadful moment when you unexpectedly receive a totally useless gift from some random acquaintance and think, “Great, here’s one more person I gotta get some small present for” — unless you do like me and just re-gift all those trinkets by transferring them from one random acquaintance to another. I just become the middleman in some big web of holiday gifts among all the people I barely know: “Merry Christmas, Bob! Here’s a gift from Clarice! Hey, Clarice, merry Christmas, and here’s a present from Arnold!” And so on. It works quite well, and it makes my life a million times easier.

The ugly: all those atrocious covers of the same ten songs, being blasted constantly on an endless loop from every speaker and public address system in every store on earth. Why does every soulless pop star have to record their own soulless interpretation of already soulless songs like Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas? My kids and I ate dinner at a fast-food restaurant the other day, and after hearing two versions of that same dreadful song played on the PA system back-to-back, we had a friendly wager as to how many more times we would hear that same song before we left. Answer? Two more times, for a total of four times in the roughly 30 minutes we were there. Four separate factory-made performances by four separate factory-made musical acts of the same stupid song. Enough already! At least (to my knowledge) the NPC/Hylics pop and contemporary Country stars haven’t migrated towards mass-producing covers of Do They Know It’s Christmas? — not yet anyway, though I’m sure that’s coming soon (I suppose that would be a potential benefit of a near-term civilizational collapse: not having to hear a dozen new versions of that appalling song ).

Anyway, this year, I have a new category, beyond the bad and lower still than the ugly, which I’m not sure how to classify: anti-Christian Christmas movies. Strange as this sounds — why make a Christmas movie if you hate Christianity?! — it does seem to be a natural progression in moviemaking. After all, we have plenty of beloved movie franchises that have been taken over and subverted by Conformmunist ideologues who hate the history, storyline, characters, and fanbase of the originals (a phenomenon endlessly documented by an entire genre of YouTube videos, such as those by Critical Drinker). Disney has happily obliterated its own profits and stock price by releasing a series of unimaginative hack remakes that deconstruct and make mockeries of everything their audiences loved about their own back catalogue of classics. So why wouldn’t studios start making Christmas movies that openly scorn the Christian religion, as Amazon did recently with Candy Cane Lane?