New Year Resolutions

2023 Will Be a Very Good Year...

2023 will be the year that I finally stop procrastinating and start being proactive — or at least that’s what I kept telling myself throughout 2022. To that end, I am going to make a few New Years’ resolutions to carpe anum¹ . . .

It’s Time for All Those New Year Resolutions . . .

Getting in Shape

I, Daniel D, do hereby resolve that this year I will sign up for a trial gym membership, that I will show up at the gym three times per week, and that I will not really work out or anything, but will instead just kind of pretend to exercise while ogling the females and annoying the other guys with idle chitchat while they are out of breath from actually working out. I’ll just kind of sit around, take up space, get in the way, and then disappear after three weeks or the expiration of my trial membership, whichever occurs first. After January, you won’t see me in a gym again until the beginning of next year, when I do the same thing all over again . . .

(But seriously, folks . . .)

I do plan to get …