A Ghost in the Machine

A Ghost in the Machine

Share this post

A Ghost in the Machine
A Ghost in the Machine
Woke Marketing Strikes Again!
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
Tilting at Windmills: Humor Writing by Daniel D

Woke Marketing Strikes Again!

Dear Beer Companies, hire me next time you want to target a Marxcissist demographic! Check out these great ideas for your next ad campaign!

Daniel D's avatar
Daniel D
May 16, 2023
∙ Paid
28

Share this post

A Ghost in the Machine
A Ghost in the Machine
Woke Marketing Strikes Again!
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
17
4
Share

Beer companies must be getting high on their own supply when they come up with these woke advertising campaigns. Just weeks after Anheuser-Busch torpedoed its Bud Light brand1 by hiring trans-6-year-old-girl activist Dylan Mulvaney2 as its spokesthing, Miller Lite decided to go woke with a commercial aimed at its core consumer base: angry feminists.

Hey Miller Lite, make advertisements for hardcore feminists, so they can continue not drinking your beer!
Hey Miller Lite, make advertisements for hardcore feminists, so they can continue not drinking your beer!

I would like to offer my creativity and insights to the marketing department of any large beer companies that are thinking about going woke. I could design slogans and television commercials that will involve the “intersectional” demographic you are targeting, and I’ll do so without alienating your existing customers.

Take Anheuser-Bush, for example. If they wanted to get a tranny to endorse one of their beers, I could have designed the perfect campaign. The problem was not Dylan Mulvaney; the problem was, they used him for the wrong product!

My solution? Have Dylan endorse O’Doul’s (or another “near beer”), not Bud Light! After all, a “woman” with no vagina makes about as much sense as “beer” without alcohol.

Get 25% off a paid subscription!

Here are some possibilities for Dylan-Mulvaney-inspired slogans for an O’Doul’s marketing campaign:

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to A Ghost in the Machine to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Daniel D
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More