Woke Marketing Strikes Again!

Dear Beer Companies, hire me next time you want to target a Marxcissist demographic! Check out these great ideas for your next ad campaign!

Beer companies must be getting high on their own supply when they come up with these woke advertising campaigns. Just weeks after Anheuser-Busch torpedoed its Bud Light brand¹ by hiring trans-6-year-old-girl activist Dylan Mulvaney² as its spokesthing, Miller Lite decided to go woke with a commercial aimed at its core consumer base: angry feminists.

Hey Miller Lite, make advertisements for hardcore feminists, so they can continue not drinking your beer!

I would like to offer my creativity and insights to the marketing department of any large beer companies that are thinking about going woke. I could design slogans and television commercials that will involve the “intersectional” demographic you are targeting, and I’ll do so without alienating your existing customers.

Take Anheuser-Bush, for example. If they wanted to get a tranny to endorse one of their beers, I could have designed the perfect campaign. The problem was not Dylan Mulvaney; the problem was, they used him for the wrong product!

My solution? Have Dylan endorse O’Doul’s (or another “near beer”), not Bud Light! After all, a “woman” with no vagina makes about as much sense as “beer” without alcohol.

Here are some possibilities for Dylan-Mulvaney-inspired slogans for an O’Doul’s marketing campaign: