Here's an Ingenious Way for Crackas Like Me to Claim Preferential Victim Status without Having to Join the Rainbow Coalition!
This was brilliant and hilarious.
At the risk of letting sheer autism spoil the humor, the genetic evidence seems to suggest that cross-breeding between Sapiens and Neanderthalensis was exclusively through the male lineage of the latter, either because Neanda women couldn't bring half-breeds to term, or because hybrids with Sapiens Y chromosomes were sterile, or because the crosses were all produced by male neanderthals getting rapey. OR, and I just thought of it: perhaps all such hybrids were killed at birth by human supremacists, whereas the kind, wise, and gentle neanderthals raised their hybrid offspring like their own, which nurturing aspect to their harmonious culture led to many Sapiens women defecting from their evil subspecies.
As another aside, what about the Denisovans? African genocide against our peoples wasn't limited to Neandas, my Neanda! We are all POGs (People of Genocide), and that's a big coalition!
Now I get it. I’m actually not a Neanderthal, but a Homo erectus, and the feminists are always accusing me of toxic masculinity.
In college anthropolgy class a long time ago, the professor mentioned certain traits only descendents of Neanderthals have and I had some. Team Neanderthal for the win.
Yer best yet...
Except, there's a flaw in your theory. Most African Americans are part white, so part neanda, so....
Hey! I found your stack via Rollins’ Review. Good stuff, my friend. I write material in this vein as well on my stack, Sincere American Writing. I dig the satirical take on white woke identity politics. It absolutely deserves to me mocked, loathed, ridiculed. For me, as a P.C.--Proud Cracker--I feel the need to constantly validate my right to exist. Now I can claim Neanderthal-hood!!!
‘Sincere American Writing’
where is my bumper sticker. Neanda Proud
Heard the Knack was doing a remake. My Neanda
Thank You!!!~ Only moments after reading your opus identifying my Caucasian persuasion's Neanderthal heritage, I could feel the surge of renewed self-pride in my Neanda lineage, and along with that pride came the self-satisfying rage that accompanies the recognition of such unimaginable discrimination as that which has been historically imposed upon me and my Cracka brethren... The feeling of indignant self-righteousness is blissful beyond words to describe.