Super #SJW Man Chapter 10

TEAM WOKE GOES UP IN FLAMES

Super #SJW Man: a Cancel-Culture Superhero!

[These Super #SJW Man posts are chapters from a book originally published in 2019. For the table of contents and introduction, click here. Previous Entry: Chapter 9, in which Team Woke Boycotts the Mall for Having Separate Clothing Sections for Men and Women]

Super #SJW Man was sitting in his bed at home, alone, drinking tequila. He had tried to watch Orange Is the New Black on Netflix, which had been one of his favorite shows, but after his encounter with the criminal justice system yesterday, he couldn’t bear to watch it anymore.

He had spent a couple of hours in a holding cell before being processed and released. While waiting in the cell, he had been forced to spit-shine his cellmates’ sneakers by licking them clean and rubbing them dry with his hair. He had tried to convince them that he was their ally; but somehow, he had miscommunicated his message, and they thought he was insulting them.

As he took another swig from the tequila bottle, he shook his head and shuddered. The disastrous events of yesterday seemed like a nightmare. He couldn’t believe any of it had actually happened.

“How could things have gone so badly at the mall?” he wondered aloud. He shook his head, as one of several embarrassing images from the day before flashed across his memory. He groaned and took another drink from the bottle.

His phone rang. He picked it up. Recognizing Captain Wokeness’s number on the caller ID, he put the phone down again, without answering.

The phone continued ringing every half minute or so. He ignored it.

Finally, he heard someone knocking at his door. He groaned and got up to answer it.

“Who is it?” he yelled.

“Come on, man, open up!” yelled Captain Wokeness.