The United States of Freier-dom

Sorry Americans, our "greatest ally" just isn't all that into us ...

The United States of Freier-dom, where simping for Israel is a way of life …

Why are we Americans such schlemiels, suckers, and simps for Israel? As the (apparently) Mossad honeypot operation known as Jefrey Epstein showed, our oligarchs and politicians are getting some play out of the deal, at least. But what’s in it for the rest of us?

Before we consider this question further, a couple of quick caveats are in order. First, anti-Zionism does not equal antisemitism: not all Jews are Zionists, and not all Zionists are Jews. In America, MOST Zionists are NOT Jews, but are instead the kind of evangelical Christians whom Israelis like to spit on. Second, ditching Israel as a “greatest ally” doesn’t mean we have to go and immediately run into the arms of the pro-Palestinian camp. In spite of the popular saying that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend,” if you’re an American, then the folks who loudly chant “death to America” are probably not your friend either. Sometimes, when the Hatfields are warring against the McCoys, the best thing for third parties to do is to not get involved. Our first (and likely our only truly great) President, George Washington, had something to say about this in his farewell address:

Against the insidious wiles of foreign influence (I conjure you to believe me, fellow-citizens) the jealousy of a free people ought to be constantly awake, since history and experience prove that foreign influence is one of the most baneful foes of republican government . . . Excessive partiality for one foreign nation and excessive dislike of another cause those whom they actuate to see danger only on one side, and serve to veil and even second the arts of influence on the other. Real patriots who may resist the intrigues of the favorite are liable to become suspected and odious, while its tools and dupes usurp the applause and confidence of the people, to surrender their interests. — George Washington (1796)

It’s a good thing Washington didn’t live to see the neo-con-artist cabal hijack America’s foreign policy as ruthlessly and efficiently as a gang of Saudi terrorists (who had absolutely no link to the “dancing Israelis”) hijacking an airplane on 9/11.

So let’s consider America’s “special” (in the sense of “special Olympics” and “special needs”) relationship with Israel. From America, Israel gets money, weapons, protection, and unfettered access to all our elected officials. It’s obvious why Israel wishes to remain our “greatest ally.” But what exactly does America get out of this relationship? Forever wars? Enemies around the world? The complete corruption of “our democracy?” Restrictions on our First Amendment rights?